Public Transport Etiquette: Lessons from a girl who has had enough

There’s a version of commuting that, on paper, sounds almost poetic.

You know the one—films love it. 

Morning light catching on train windows, a soft piano track humming underneath, and a row of strangers gazing out of the train window like they’re all having quiet epiphanies. 

People moving through the city with purpose, probably thinking about art or oat milk or whatever it is that productive people think about before 9 am.

That’s not the version I get.

My version involves a man unwrapping a tuna sandwich at 7:32 am, like that’s ever been an acceptable breakfast. Joined by a rogue smell of feet that seems to migrate through carriages unchecked, and a woman discreetly vaping into her handbag like she’s hotboxing a scented candle.

I commute every day—over an hour each way, and I've done the full spectrum.

The shoulder-to-shoulder peak hour, the eerie calm of 5 am emptiness, and the odd after-dark journey where everyone looks like they’ve made one too many bad decisions. 

I’ve witnessed things. I’ve mentally logged smells. I’ve formed strong opinions about people I’ve never spoken to.

And because this daily ritual comes with its own unspoken social rules, I’ve been quietly collecting the ones that should really be printed on large signs in every station. Preferably with diagrams.

So here are my top 5 social etiquette rules to follow on public transport:

1. Let people off the train before you get on

It’s the simplest thing, and yet it derails the flow of every second train. You don’t need to wedge yourself into the doorway the moment the doors open. Take a breath, move to the side, and let people step off without feeling like they’re in a rugby scrum. 

It’s not hard. It’s just… functioning in a shared space.

2. If the carriage is mostly empty, don’t sit directly next to someone

There are many ways to exist in a shared space, and planting yourself hip-to-hip with a stranger when there are dozens of empty seats isn’t one of the better ones. 

A man once did exactly that—walked into a nearly empty carriage, surveyed his options, and decided to sit right beside me like we were old friends reunited by fate. 

He then spent the journey staring at me with a level of intensity usually reserved for wildlife documentaries.

Eventually, I turned, locked eyes, and gave him the full wide-eyed look that says, I’m not above being weird back. 

He glanced away, suddenly uncomfortable, as if I were the one making it strange.

Honestly? Fair play.

3. Have your Metro card ready to tap on/off

It’s not a surprise party. You knew this moment was coming. 

Watching someone dig through their tote bag in slow motion while a growing queue performs silent, collective despair behind them is… bleak. 

Tap and go. Be the change.

4. If you need to make a phone call, maybe keep it brief and vaguely private.

Some people turn public transport into their personal podcast. 

I once spent an entire Monday morning listening to a man unpack his breakup in excruciating detail, on speaker, no headphones, no shame. 

For what it’s worth, she was right to leave

5. Give up your seat if you see someone who needs it more.

If someone older steps on board, especially one navigating the train with a cane, shopping bag, or general air of “I’ve seen some things,” offer them your seat. 

It doesn’t need to be a grand gesture—just a quick smile and a “would you like to sit?” goes a long way. 

It won’t ruin your commute, but it might make theirs.

Over time, I’ve come to accept that commuting is its own weird little ecosystem. 

It’s repetitive, mildly chaotic, and full of unspoken codes that people either follow, ignore, or aggressively rewrite. 

I pass the time with TikToks, true crime podcasts, and the quiet realisation that most of life is spent in transition—from one place to another, from one weird smell to the next.

I board the train every day, not because it’s glamorous, but because commuting, like most things in adult life, is a strange mix of habit, hope, and the silent agreement that we’re all just doing our best.

But also, to the man with the tuna sandwich-

We really do need to talk.

M x